you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
