I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When are your genitals available?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
