...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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