Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
