i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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