I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize