i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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