Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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