Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
