I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
