So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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