All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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