HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well I just put wine in my tea
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
