Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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