there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
