Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
