he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He passed out mid-signature
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
