Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
