Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
