You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
