So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
