They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
