gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
All I want is dick and wine.
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