his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
