i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
