Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
try to milk me bitch
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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