VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
