Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Welp...herpes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
