Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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