You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
