Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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