were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
