in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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