But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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