I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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