He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
