There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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