I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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