Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
