that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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