Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
