There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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