My hair reeks of homosexuality.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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