If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
