therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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