Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
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So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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