I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
