Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
