fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
