I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
