why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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