I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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