I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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