I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
