he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize