R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize