Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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