Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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