Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
