so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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