He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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