Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
