i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
